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林書瑜 Rebecca Lin|破繭而出的生命力 A Heart Full of Life

瀏覽 Rebecca 的 Instagram,自然風景和人際互動就像一匹匹瑰麗拼布,而她笑起來輕揚的嘴角和新月般的雙眼,是一道道勾勒其間的鮮明筆觸,拍攝當天,才剛結束和老公在花蓮太魯閣的度假,包包裡還留有一支香檳醞釀著旅行後的餘韻,不過在訪談還沒開始前,正在梳化的 Rebecca 面對《enya FASHION QUEEN》頷首微笑,寧靜卻舒適的氛圍瀰漫整個梳妝間,這般的餘裕和正能量引人好奇。

When browsing Rebecca’s Instagram, you can see the images of natural scenery and friend gathering make the profile seem like the beautiful pieces of a quilt; her smile with upward curves and the moon crescent shaped eyes are refreshing and pretty. On the day of the photoshoot she has just returned from a trip with her husband to Hualien Taroko Gorge; and a bottle of champagne was left in her bag with the joyful atmosphere. Besides, before starting the interview, Rebecca, who was facing enya FASHION QUEEN, she was smiling while applying her makeup. The quiet and cozy atmosphere of the dressing room was filled with the appealing positive energy.

前世情人的浪漫

身穿一襲桃紅色長洋裝,拍攝中的 Rebecca 飽滿微笑恰似頸項間 Tiffany T Smile 鏈墜簡潔卻自信的曲線,優雅靜靜流淌。人生第一件珠寶來自 Tiffany Elsa Peretti 的 Starfish 和 Bean Design 系列飾品,純銀的材質恍若凝滯著父親永恆的關愛,青春期的 Rebecca 想穿耳洞,父親卻擔心感染「他竟然帶著我去醫院找醫生穿耳洞」,娓娓談起父親於她人生中的角色「小時候爸爸總會把最好的給我,連我媽都沒有 Tiffany,有一種被愛的感覺。」

今年父親 60 歲生日,Rebecca 偷偷籌備起品酒會,廣邀身邊親友帶一瓶酒並分享其中故事,父親不知情,身穿一條清潔浴廁時的短褲就加入派對,Rebecca 憶起父親的猝不及防仍笑著為他平反「不過還是很帥啦。」言語之間流露著前世情侶的浪漫。「我很在乎節日、重視儀式感,朋友家人生日,都會主辦派對。」就連大學於美國密西根州立大學主修廣告系,也是啟發於從事廣告業三十年的父親,畢業後面臨產業變遷,卻也幫助她重新思索人生中真正想完成的事。

書寫療癒了生命

Rebecca 轉而攻讀醫療行政碩士,爾後經手醫院行政和業務,卻和內心理想相距甚遠,她坦言「小時候得過罕病,我想用我的力量幫助這些孩子,因為我懂他們的痛。」Rebecca 於 14 歲被診斷患有肝母細胞癌,青春年華少了同儕相伴,多半往返醫院和家中「生病時打很多針和化療,還要經歷多次手術。」她的堅強彷彿隨著頭上髮絲一根根掉落,Rebecca 也曾崩潰「為什麼大家都能上學?」家人是幽暗裡的一道光,循序引領著她走向正面的人生觀,「爸爸跟著我一起剃光頭,說這樣很帥呀,很好!」逐漸釋懷的 Rebecca 還能揶揄「媽媽怎麼沒一起剃。」爽朗的笑聲響徹整個訪談空間。

也許是在絕望中找到渴望,Rebecca 因緣際會下從醫療行政領域投身教育界,現任職於國立台灣師範大學已有 6 年時間「很多人需要幫忙,教育是很重要的。」除了發揮人際專長接待政界和企業界的資深校友,她也參與募款活動幫助低收入戶學生持續求學。約莫 5 年前,萌生書寫痊癒歷程的想法,她利用假日和下班時間持續寫作「在安靜的地方回想之前發生的事,邊寫邊哭。」只為感謝主治醫生雷院長,更期待藉此走進醫療院所鼓勵病童「我的主治醫生是很好的醫生,沒有他我不會活在這個世界上,我想讓大家知道不要對台灣醫療失望。」

永恆的優雅弧線

其實前往花蓮度假前夕,Rebecca 老公看著 80% 的降雨機率正愁著「一定會下雨。」沒想到旅行時光總是好天氣「我會一直往好方向去想,他們(父母親)在生病中不斷支持我,說一定會過去。」此刻的 Rebecca 享受每日朝九晚五的上班生活,假日則持續運動,更愛邀朋友品酒暢聊,和老公下廚料理早餐。疾病彷彿打磨出璀璨光芒「我什麼都不怕了,我喜歡冒險,都度過最難過的事了,還能更痛苦嗎?」Rebecca 話語堅定,生命如同胸前的微笑鏈墜永恆閃爍著優雅弧線。

The Relationship with Her Dad

Wearing a long dress in a pinkish-red color for the photoshoot, Rebecca’s lovely smile was like the Tiffany T Smile pendant around her neck, a simple design with a sense of confidence, grace, and feminism. The first jewelry of her lifetime was from the Tiffany Elsa Peretti’s Starfish and Bean Design accessory collection; the silver material shines with her father’s love. Remembering the time when Rebecca wanted to get an ear piercing, her father was concerned about the non-professional disinfection process and “he even took me to the hospital and requested the ear piercing,” said Rebecca. “When I was a little girl, my father always gave the best things to me, even my mother has never gotten a Tiffany from him. To me, he taught me the feeling of being loved.” 

This year, when Rebecca’s father celebrated his 60th birthday, she secretly held a wine tasting party by inviting family members and close friends to bring a bottle of wine and share its story. Her father didn’t know anything about the party, so he joined the party with a pair of shorts that he wear when cleaning the bathroom. Rebecca remembered her father’s embarrassing moments and said, “My father still looked handsome that day.” Rebecca’s words are full of love for her dearest father. “I care much about holidays, a sense of ritual; whenever my family or friends celebrate their birthday, I always hold the party.” Including her major in the Department of Advertising, Michigan State University, she was inspired by her father who has been working in the advertising industry for more than 30 years. However, after graduation, the changes in the industry has showed and guided her to her true passion. 

Writing Heals

Rebecca chose the master’s degree in healthcare administration for a change. After coping with the administrative operation and business in the hospital, she didn’t immediately get in touch with the kids as she expected. She opened up and said, “I was diagnosed with a rare disease when I was little. I wanted to use my power to help the kids because I understand their pain.” Rebecca was diagnosed with Hepatoblastoma at the age of 14. She spent most of her teenage years commuting between the hospital and her home without companions; “During the days, I received many injections and chemical treatment,” she said. “Also, I needed to undergo surgical operations.” Her strength was like her fallen hair during the treatment. Rebecca has collapsed and wondered “why could other kids go to school?” Her family members showed a light in the dark that led her to a positive philosophy of life, “my father shaved his head with me, and he said, it was a good-looking hairstyle!” Gradually, Rebecca could process her emotion and ask her mother playfully, “why not joining us?” Now, her pleasant laughs brighten up the entire space during the interview, the laughs were the happiest and the most filfulled I’ve even seen.

Maybe, Rebecca found her aspiration from her desperation; she happened to get a chance to transfer from medicare administration to an education institute. Now, she’s been working at National Taiwan Normal University for 6 years; “many people are in need of help, education is the key,” she said. She makes the best use of her interpersonal social skills to perform the reception tasks whenever the politicians and senior alumni of the business community visit the school. Moreover, she participates in fund-raising activities that help students from low-income households with continuous education. About 5 years ago, she started the idea of writing a book about her experiences of the curing process; “remembering my past at the quiet place always makes me cry while writing,” said Rebecca. She spent holidays and time after work writing constantly for the attending doctor, the director Lei; also, she’s expecting to encourage the children with illness in the medicare institute, “my attending doctor is a very good doctor; without him, I wouldn’t be alive in this world. I want everyone not to feel disappointed about the medicare in Taiwan. 

Blessed with a Graceful Smile

In fact, before going on vacation in Hualien, Rebecca’s husband was worried about the 80% probability of precipitation, “It’s going to rain,” he said. However, the weather was so good during their trip, “I’ll keep on thinking positively; just like how my parents kept on supporting me and telling me everything is going to be fine during the darkest time.” Right now, Rebecca enjoys her nine to five working schedule; she spends her holidays doing exercises. Also, she loves inviting friends to wine tasting, chat with friends, and make breakfast with her husband on weekends. Her illness seems to polish a sparkling glow, “I’m not afraid of anything; I’m an adventurous person who has survived from the most suffering experience; I don’t know what else could possibly be worse?” said Rebecca in a determined tone; her life is like the Tiffany smiling pendant with an elegant curve that glitters infinitely. 

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