Through Carnegie training program, John L. Hei has influenced 400,000 Taiwanese students, ranking in the “List of top 200 most influential people” in Taiwan in the past 400 years. His 80-year life looks like a giant statue. No matter in bright or dark time, he always observes every turning point with confidence. Looking at the wrinkles with profound meaning, Einstein’s wording “success often depends on the turning points” has become a note of this life. John L. Hei’s respect to priceless life makes him hold on a positive faith and patiently carved out the most “valuable” image in his heart, which is continuously reflected in the life pages of his family and other persons.
回想 70 歲生日，黑先生重返出生地廣東桂林，歲月業已走過半個世紀，如今身旁還有兒女和孫輩三代同堂為他祝壽。看著孩子各自成家立業，他笑稱生日反而少了子女陪伴，見此景仍感觸良多「他們都很善良，不管對家人或社會。」
Enthusiasm Beyond Age
When he occasionally read a newspaper that published the Dale Carnegie training, the news stirred up the original desire of John L. Hei: sharing, writing and speeches. When he was about 50 years old, he resigned from the position of vice president of Acer Computer Company Limited and determined to start his new career in his middle-age.
When it was in the cold early spring, John L. Hei and his wife, Li Bai-Ling, flew to Carnegie’s New York headquarter. It seemed as if they were stepping on an unfinished road. “But as soon as I arrived at there, my eyes brightened and I began to feel confident”. While sharing this with us, we can vaguely follow the light in his eyes and walk into the space-time tunnel. At then, the publication piracy was rampant in Taiwan. He came into Carnegie president’s mind by his self-confidence and broad knowledge, and became Carnegie’s only “exception”: returned to Taiwan as a Carnegie training course agent, then, came back to the United States to take the Carnegie training program later.
30 years had passed, John L. Hei has been consecutively invited to give speeches and incessantly write books. He also kept pace with the live Internet to enlighten people. While talking about his career, he is full of energy: “If you really want to find something you are interested in, everything will be helpful for your health.” The smoking tone and hearty laughter spread all around.
Transforming the Dark Years
As the first year student that participated in the junior high school entrance examination, John L. Hei once fell into the dark life. After dropped from the agricultural school, his military career was not only profound, but also hard to imagine that the experience of a miserable young man could be transformed into a father’s love and reflected into the life of his four children. He recalled that on a morning when he was 17, he carried his confused future with him and was taking an ordinary train with his father. In the train cabin, he was surrounded by prisoners in handcuffs and chains. It was at silent late night when he arrived at the Air Force Communication and Electronic Military Academy in Pingtung.
Day after day, he repaired machines and radars, and spent his time writing and speaking in military academy. The expectation from his mother came into the child’s heart. “The letters were not about the ordinary living issues; they were all about great hopes, which made me feel like I should have ideals”, which brought him to find his language talent and learnt English himself, survived over the military school time. He became the only Taiwanese government funded student to study abroad in the United States. With his dream taking off, he finally deviated from the regular education track and walked on the road he was expecting about.
Handing down Letter- Writing Habit to the Younger Generation
Hei Li-Xing, the 17-year-old youngest child of John L. Hei, went to the Stanford University. These father and son couple had very different life circumstances at the same age. Hei You-Long drove his children to school by a van. The baggage in the trunk was like a hope ready to go. The campus was full of beautiful scenery and artworks. Hei You-Long said frankly, “I have encountered setbacks and falls, yet my junior son had never suffered before. In the future, to be a father or to be a supervisor, he should have a great tolerance. He might be not as lucky as I was and would be hard to endure thereof. “
Through the vagrancy of the civil war between the KMT and Chinese Communist Party and the shackle of the education system, Hei You-Long paved the way for his children, almost abandoned his father’s conservative discipline, and inherited the family’s legacy of communicating with mom by mails. When participated in the Carnegie training program in middle age time, John L. Hei’s family once separated apart that was linked by means of writing letters; family members wrote what they were thinking about and mailed to the others to consolidate the family bond together.
While talking about the content in the letters, Hei You-Long was full of joy. His second son Hei Li-Guo, who is the vice president in the University of Washington School of Medicine, was once naughty and riotous when he was a child, in Hei Li-Guo’s letter, he said: “I hope to have one percent of your achievement in the future”. Hei Li-Yang, His eldest child that took over his father’s career, wrote that: “I feel very happy when every time you say I’m like you.” Her daughter, Hei Li-Li, became a housewife and taught her children to inherit her parents’ “slow parenting “; based on love and respect, she patiently waited for the seedlings to grow into big trees that could shelter others.
Slow Parenting Leading to Good Characters
At present, the COVID-19 pandemic is still in spreading, the three generations of Hei’s family used to reunite for at least two times per year, but now they share daily information through video interaction. John L. Hei still keeps in mind the communication guidelines, said with smile: “Eye-contact will be achieved only when you see the lens.”, Under the circumstance that the pandemic has blocked out the airlines of family contact, it seems that John L. Hei has been immersed in the feeling of missing.
Looking back to his 70th birthday, John L. Hei returned to Guilin, Guangdong Province where he was born. After half a century has passed, he is now surrounded by his children and grandchildren to celebrate his birthday. Watching that his children start their own families and careers, he laughingly said that he had no children to accompany him on his birthday. Seeing this, he still felt a lot: “They are very kind, no matter to their families or to the society.”
In the back view of his children running for the family, John L. Hei realizes that the “good” character he wants his kids to inherit is to respect heaven, love others, be progressive, be happy and be compassionate. Now he has launched a “slow-parenting class” to benefit others with years of his parenting experience. John L. Hei humbly claimed that he is not the Pei Ieoh-Ming, a famous architect, nor could leave good poems like Yu Guang-Zhong. “Maybe we are not genius, but the most valuable thing is that my kids are good peoples.”