COVER STAR

羅志祥 | 我曾錯過 I FALTERED

拍攝完封面的羅志祥換上便裝,眼神卻是凝重的。黑色布簾阻隔的不止是喧囂的場景,人前專業習慣帶給大家歡笑的他,正襟危坐於我面前,事件歷經七個月後,他選擇接受《enya Fashion Queen》獨家專訪,娓娓訴說這200多天的沉潛.....

TRANSLATION | Eugenia Yang

拍攝完封面的羅志祥換上便裝,眼神卻是凝重的。黑色布簾阻隔的不止是喧囂的場景,人前專業習慣帶給大家歡笑的他,正襟危坐於我面前,事件歷經七個月後,他選擇接受《enya Fashion Queen》獨家專訪,娓娓訴說這200多天的沉潛…..

After our cover shoot, Show Lo slipped back into his casual clothing, but his complexion was grave. The dark curtains not only blocked out the hustle and bustle of Taipei city, but also casted his usual cheerful impression outside. Now, after what had happened in April, Show sat sternly in front of me. Having chosen to accept 《enya Fashion Queen》’s exclusive interview, he began to narrate his 200 days of self-reflection…

慫動標題的震撼

大膽地問了他對自己分手新聞的看法,羅志祥沈重地說著:「當時我從台北飛到內地,是在隔離期間,要準備接下來的工作,看到突如其來發佈於微博的文,我很震驚,當時腦筋一片空白,也一直重複上網看了好幾次,覺得很突然思緒很亂。我想在那之前的一段時間,我的確是迷失了自己,是周揚青那篇微博文章打醒了我。看著這些文字,開始回顧之前的感情生活,一幕幕走過,我發現我真的錯了,還錯的那麼徹底。」那段期間,羅志祥在微博上發完道歉文,隔離結束依舊沒有出門。「看完文字的第一時間我和她打了電話,向她道歉也在社群媒體上發文道歉,我講了很多對不起,而我也明白我對她的傷害不是講對不起就能彌補,但我找不到更好的方法,很無措。」講到這裡羅志祥的嗓音微微沙啞,表情也變得凝重,彷彿這件事情發生在昨日,時間過去這麼久他對這件事的愧疚之情依然不減,在採訪中不斷表露出對她的歉意。「很多事情是我做錯,它所帶來的後果也是我應該承受的。」可以想象在羅志祥人氣的最高點,犯下這樣的錯誤,也讓他付出超高的代價。「緊接著公司打電話來了,我也很擔心家人看到新聞的心情,在當下我不想去回應任何事情,是我做錯事,我也一直發訊息給身邊跟我有工作關係的人和他們說抱歉,為了不給大家帶來更多負擔我和經紀公司商討,讓公司與合作方溝通後停掉了所有工作,不希望給合作夥伴也造成困擾」。然而網友多重的聲音與微博熱搜風暴,超越了羅志祥的想像空間,沈默停頓了幾秒,空氣再一次凝結,他默默道出了那一段時間不知道該如何面對人,很難過。採訪幾度,羅志祥眼神難受地說到,也很抱歉讓粉絲們遭受網路的批判與斥責,「還是要跟因為我的錯誤而受傷的人鄭重說聲對不起,同時也要跟社會大眾說聲對不起,因為我個人情感上做出了很不好的示範,也想跟粉絲們說聲對不起,讓你們擔心了。」

社群媒體下的承重

當事情發生時輿論一面倒,負面標籤化的字眼加諸於羅志祥之上,「說真的,我之前已經習慣,從出道到現在,這樣子的聲音一直伴隨在我身邊,我本來就是個不喜歡幫自己說話的人,於是各種聲音也愈來愈多。」然而現今這個自媒體時代,不出來回應所有事情便會被當成默認,沈默已不適用這個時代,作為藝人必須要直面輿論,回應輿論。工作狂的他,出道27週年,步入四十不惑,透過隔離獨處時光不斷地檢視自己,「在隔離那段期間,很多人都很擔心我的心情會變得怎麼樣,會不會做不該做的傻事,很感謝得到很多家人與粉絲朋友的關心與正向開導。」回想過往經歷,不管對錯與否,羅志祥認為每個時期都是一種成長,成長不是因為你遇到了事情,而是因為遇到了事情之後你懂得去接受與改變。停頓了一下,羅志祥道出,「愛情學分我是不及格,但工作領域我相信自己是一百分。我依舊會拿出滿分的我去迎向未來舞台上面臨的工作與挑戰。」2020年的最後這一個月,他說希望能將曾經犯下的錯誤,於今年好好做一個整理與收尾,演藝工作停擺近幾個月,依然專注做好音樂作品與潮牌服飾,明年將用音樂重新出發。

“當華麗的轉身後,更懂得自己曾經錯過”

回首過後的沉潛

「我很感謝一位朋友帶我進入高爾夫球世界。」從未想過打高爾夫球的過程可以體悟到人生哲理,「我以前覺得打高爾夫球是一件很靜態的,完全是不適合我的一項運動。」於羅志祥而言,每一次的開球都是全新的開始,而開球落得點可能是斜坡、沙洞,要用什麼方式去克服它,如同人生一般,會面臨許多階段性的挑戰與未知場景。採訪之際,我開始有一點懷疑,曾經與高爾夫球運動沾不上邊的他,是不是也透過這樣子的方式,練習跟自己獨處,學習與生活共處,領略人生之道。歷經風波,羅志祥於採訪中,談及最感謝媽媽一路的陪伴與不斷地開導,也因為這次事件,和媽媽相處時間變長了,媽媽喜歡在社區裡打乒乓球,於是他靈機一動,幫大家舉辦了乒乓球大賽,看到媽媽和朋友們開心的拿著獎盃,臉上增添更多的笑容,觸及內心柔軟,羅志祥感受到一份久違的幸福與溫暖。 

浴火重生 回歸初心 

過盡千帆,看盡風雲,每一次,我們為自己做的每一個決定,都是成長的積累。無論選擇對跟錯、結果好與壞,都坦然接受一切隨之而來的好事情與壞事情。每一位藝人都會運用不同的聲音,去表達想去支持的人事物,「我的方式很簡單,我就是用綜藝。我覺得用歡笑去感染所有人,是最直接、最開心的。」世間紛繁複雜,實現自我不易,採訪近末,年少的那份初心,像孩提時那樣沒心沒肺地開懷大笑,或許就已是某種意義上的「重生」。螢幕之外,生活之中,家人間的陪伴更令他有更多動力,「我媽媽剛剛過完62歲的生日,今年的她依舊非常健康,這是作為兒子感到最幸福最開心的事情,每一年我都會和媽媽一起去做身體檢查,就像是我們之間的約定,你要好好照顧你自己,我也會保證我身體健康,彼此都不擔心,這樣她也會放心我投入工作。」沒有熱愛,一切都不成事。對事業、對家人、對粉絲,他都有足夠的熱愛,或許這份熱愛,將帶領著羅志祥迎向未來,成為更好的人,寫下人生翻轉的開端。

“坦然的態度,回歸初衷。”

The Bombshell

I boldly asked him his thoughts on the news of his breakup and Show answered with a grim expression: “I had just flown from Taipei to China and was still in quarantine, preparing for my upcoming work when Grace Chow posted everything on Weibo. When I first saw it, my mind went completely blank. I kept going back and rereading her post. My mind was a total mess. Thinking back, I lost sight of who I am; her words were a wake up call. I was reading her post when I started to look back at my past relationships, every scene still clear in my head. I realized that I had made so, so many mistakes.” During his quarantine, he posted his apology online and stayed at home even after his fourteen days were up. “I gave her a call immediately after seeing the post and apologized, to her and on my social media. But I knew, my countless apologies will not be able to fix my mistakes or make up for what I’d did to her. And yet, I couldn’t find a better way. I really didn’t know what to do.” At this point, Show’s voice grew hoarse and his expression was grave as if everything had just happened yesterday. Even with all the time that had passed, his guilt never subsided. In between lines, his regret towards everything he had did to Grace Chow was apparent: “I made a lot of mistakes, so I should be the one to take responsibility for the consequences that came with them.” It wasn’t hard to imagine the backlash of taking a wrong step for someone as famous as Show: “Soon, my agency called me and I was worried about my family and how they must have felt after seeing the news. But I didn’t want to say anything; I was the one at fault. I texted everyone who I had work relations with to apologize. After a discussion with my agency, we decided it’s best if we put all my work on pause so that I wouldn’t cause my work partners any more troubles.” And yet the way everything went viral on Weibo and the comments online were beyond his imagination. Show paused for a few moments and I could feel the air in the dressing room freeze again. Upset and humiliated, he slowly revealed how he couldn’t find a way to face anyone. His eyes flickered with sadness when he expressed that he felt responsible for the judgment and scolding towards fans who supported him: “I want to apologize again to all the people who were hurt due to my personal mistake. I also want to apologize to the public because I had set a terrible example regarding my personal relationships. And to my fans, I’m truly sorry that I’d let you guys down.”

The Weight of Social Media 

After what had happened, all the online comments and news were against Show, along with all the negative, judgmental labels that were forced upon him. And yet, he was used to them already: “To be honest, this isn’t the first time. Ever since my debut, negative feedback like these stayed. I was never someone who likes to speak up for himself, so the voices and comments grew over time.” And yet, in this era of We Media, not giving a response basically equates to admittance; silence is no longer suitable in this generation. For public figures and artists, giving a direct response is the only way to stop the rumors. A workaholic since stepping on stage 27 years ago, now reaching the age of forty, Show chose to use the time of isolation to reflect and improve. He thought back to his time alone and wanted to thank his friends and family: “During my quarantine, a lot of people were concerned about my mentality and scared that I would do the unthinkable, so I am extremely grateful for all the kind and positive words I’d received.” He reflected upon his past, times when he did right and did wrong, and understood that each time period is a way of growth. Growth doesn’t happen when you encounter challenges, but only after you have encountered your challenges and developed the ability to accept and improve. After a short pause, he admitted: “Yes, I didn’t pass the bar when it came to relationships, but when it came to work, I guarantee that I always put in a hundred percent of effort. And I will continue to use all a hundred percent to face the future challenges as a performer.” Arriving at the last month of 2020, Show wished that he could leave his mistakes in the past and resettle. After his eight-month hiatus, he still aspired to produce better songs and clothing for his brand and to restart everything with brand new music. 

Reflect and Resurface 

“I want to specially thank that friend who introduced me to golf.” Show admitted that he had never thought golf could be life changing: “I used to think golf is very static, something that is not of my taste.” To him, every tee shot is a fresh start. It could land on a hill or in the bunk, so what really matters is the way you choose to overcome the difficult landscapes. Just like in life, we all face obstacles during different phases and have to take on the unknown future. At this point of the interview, I began to wonder, for someone who’d never played golf, perhaps the sport became his way of learning how to spend time with himself and understand the true way of life. Through all the ups and downs, Show was most grateful towards his mother’s unwavering support and enlightening advice. A silver lining amidst everything that was going on was that he got to spend more quality time with her. Realizing how much she likes to play ping-pong, he decided to host a tournament for his community. When describing the scene of his mother and her friends holding the trophy with triumph, Show’s serious expression was replaced by a bright smile. The happiness and wellbeing of his family touched the softest part within him and made him feel this long overdue warmth and fulfillment. 

Rise From the Ashes, Stay Gold

Going through all the peaks and valleys, the obstacles in life, every decision we make leads to personal growth. No matter if we choose right or wrong, or if the results turn out to be good or bad, it is important to learn that time goes on and more decisions await in the future. Every artist or performer uses his or her voice to show support for the causes he or she cares about. To Show, it’s simple: “I choose humor. The effect laughter has on people is the most immediate and delightful.” This world is complicated and ever-changing, making it even harder to stand our ground to stay true to ourselves. Towards the end of the interview, the laughter of an innocent kid, unfiltered and with no restraint, lingered in the dressing room — perhaps this is a form of rebirth. Off stage, his family’s support was his fuel to keep going: “My mom had just celebrated her 62nd birthday. Her health is my happiness. Every year we do our physical check-ups together. It’s like a promise, she takes care of her health and I’ll do the same, so that we don’t need to worry about each other and she can be rest-assured that I will take good care of myself even when I’m focused on my career.” Without passion, nothing can be achieved. He is devoted towards his job, his family, and his fans; perhaps this unyielding passion will guide Show towards his future path on becoming a better man, rewriting history by turning a new leaf.

採訪後記

有些深藏在心底深處的聲音,也是時候該說出來了,羅志祥淡淡地說著,「我身上真的扛了不少黑鍋,這些真的是我以前從未說過的,我想藉由這次的訪問,在2020年的尾聲跟大家做分享。我在車上想了很久,我到底要不要去幫自己解釋一些事情。」

搶歐弟女朋友

我沒有搶他女朋友,歐弟在綜藝節目上說他在當兵前把女友交給他最好的兄弟照顧,旁邊另一位主持人說「小豬呀」,歐弟沒有回應接著說他退伍回來後女朋友跟他說:「謝謝你找了一個很會照顧我的人來照顧我。」後來Makiyo曾在節目裡面說過,她是跟歐弟分手之後,後面隔了很久才跟我在一起的,不是我中間插足,然而網路上並沒有因為Makiyo的澄清,就停止「羅志祥搶歐弟女朋友」話題的發酵,「以前我不解釋,一直認為清者自清,但這個標籤現在被越放越大。」

忘恩負義不知感恩

楊登魁老闆是我的恩人,追思會當天我出席美人魚電影的首映會,郭建宏老闆很不開心,他在節目訪問過程中說了我很多的不是。可是他卻忘了我早已提前去了靈堂祭拜捻香,當時委託工作人員跟郭老闆表達,我無法去參加追思會。但因為中間陰差陽錯導致誤會產生,事後郭老闆發現是傳答錯誤,透過我經紀人跟我說抱歉,當時報紙有寫出來,卻沒有被大肆的報導,因此忘恩負義的罪名依舊烙印在我身上!

性騷擾疑雲

我前經紀人孫德榮先生,20幾年來他總是氣憤地跟媒體說:「羅志祥說我性騷擾。」這個鍋我也是扛了快20幾年,我從來沒有說過這句話,也沒有說過孫總任何一句不是,我真的沒有!

見縫插針無妄之災

事件發生後,有很多人會來蹭熱度,小模說我要帶她去歐洲,還說要對我提出告訴!事實上,她只來上過我的節目,我們完全不認識!只是,當下我無力也不想隨之起舞。

2020年的12月,我想透過這次專訪,為自己做個澄清。請大家把不屬於我的標籤撕除,讓我重新開始,需要承擔,沒有選擇逃避,逃避不能解決問題,所以我選擇勇敢地面對自己犯下的錯誤,也重新檢視自己,就如同妳剛剛所問:「如果無法回到以前的高點?」我堅信只要保持對舞台的熱情,對工作不服輸的精神,相信大家會看得到我的專業與努力!

Epilogue 

Choosing to bring forth certain things that never came to light, Show said faintly: “There have been a lot of misunderstandings, and I’d never said anything about it. After having given some thought on the car ride coming here, I want to take this interview as an opportunity to finally explain myself, for the very first time.”

Stealing Eddy Ou’s Girlfriend 

“I never stole his girlfriend. Eddy said on TV that before he went into the military, he told his best friend to take good care of his girlfriend, Makiyo. The host at the time said my name and Eddy didn’t respond, but only told them that after he was done with his service, she said to him: ‘Thanks for finding someone who knows how to take good care of me.’ Afterwards, Makiyo clarified on TV that after she broke up with Eddy, she got into a few relationships before she dated me; I never got in between their relationship. And yet the public didn’t stop spreading the rumor of ‘Show Lo stole Eddy Ou’s girlfriend.’ I didn’t want to say anything before because I thought the truth would reveal itself. Unfortunately, this label persisted.” 

The Ungrateful One

“Taiwanese media tycoon, Mr. Teng-Kuei Yang was my mentor. On the day of his memorial, I was at the premiere of Stephen Chow’s The Mermaid. My absence upsetted TV producer, Mr. Chien-Hung Kuo, which was why he spoke ill of me in an interview on screen, but what he forgot was that I paid my tribute prior to the memorial and I’d also asked his colleague to notify him of my absence. A miscommunication led to this misunderstanding! Years later, Mr. Kuo found out that there had been a mistake and apologized to me through my ex-agent. It was on the news but not widely broadcasted and so I had to carry the name of ‘the ungrateful one’ even until now.”

 The Alleged Sexual Harassment  

“For twenty years, my ex-agent, Mr. Te-Jung Sun, had been telling the press that ‘Show Lo accused me of sexual harassment.’ This was another label I carried for almost two decades. I never said such a thing, or spoken ill of Mr. Sun, not even once. 

Opportunists Taking Advantage  

“After what had happened in April, a lot of people took this opportunity to gain popularity. A model claimed that I had promised her a trip to Europe and even wanted to take everything to court. The truth is, she was only a guest on my show; we didn’t even know each other. I was simply too exhausted to respond to all the rumors.”

“With 2020 coming to an end, I want to take this interview as an opportunity to speak up for myself. I’m simply asking everyone to peel off the labels that do not belong to me and allow me to restart. And for the things I’ve done wrong, I will take full responsibility because denial and excuses will not fix the problem. I choose to face my own mistakes directly and reevaluate and improve myself. Answering your question earlier, ‘What if you can’t reach that career highpoint again?’ I believe as long as I maintain my love and passion for the stage, and continue to channel my unfaltering determination, people will be able to see my vocation and hard work and believe in me again.”

發表迴響

%d 位部落客按了讚: