_{TRANSLATION | Eugenia Yang}

In this age of complex beauty standards, her silhouette is like a pleasing scenery. An elegant socialite, she is affecting the women around her with her own meaning of life.

煥心之旅

很多人會認為「年齡」與「結婚」是女性的束縛甚至是終點，於關穎而言，它是一場全新的人生體驗，因為未知，所以可能。「我很高興我是一名高齡媽媽，因為沒有遺憾，所以蠻樂在其中。」身為人母的過程，對關穎來說是一個探索存在本身的過程，很享受現在生活的多樣、無常和複雜。第一次作為母親，關穎說教育小孩最重要是在他們不懂人生方向的時候，給予一條正軌的道路，在安全範圍內給出正確的價值觀，而放手，是她現階段正在學習的課題。擁有三位小孩，需要透過不同方式去陪伴，哥哥Phi Phi古靈精怪，需要花很多時間去溝通，有時候在叮嚀功課的時候，會破壞親子關係，或許見過越來越多的世界後，終將理解為什麼媽媽要這麼嚴厲，因為走偏與走歪，是一線之隔。「我不希望小孩眼中的我，是一個完美的媽媽，反過來我希望他看到我的強項與弱點；我希望他堅強勇敢，大人的世界也有脆弱與無奈的一面。」字體行間，我彷彿看到了一位母親對於小孩的寄望，一個可以被信任的媽媽。

打破標籤

在過往的人生歲月裡，身為藝人、名媛、妻子、媽媽多重身份的詮釋，在搜尋引擎輸入關穎的名字，其中最顯眼的關鍵詞是：名媛。集三千寵愛於一身，成為她最合適的註腳，如今，她正在親手將其一點點打破、拆去，訪談之間她多次表達很感謝父母親在物質上與精神上的支持，「我不會刻意平凡，但我一樣會去吃路邊攤、逛淘寶網站、搭捷運、穿藍白拖，感受生活上的美好體驗。」即使如今扮演媽媽的角色，她從不設限自己，喜歡忙碌的感覺，也了解休息的必要。社群網站上會經常看著關穎發佈每週時尚穿搭，以及跟三五好友吃飯聚會或是曬三個寶貝的家庭日常，儘管細細追究起來，有了小孩之後，自我會被吞噬掉，但她也享受著家庭與小孩帶來的幸福感。

感知生活

話題聊到曾經在演藝圈被媒體亂下標題與註解，很擔心會影響到家人，是她過往頭痛的部分。而曾經也和媽媽關係比較緊張敏感，她透露:「母女關係是好的，但要消除世代的隔閡是一輩子要學習的課題。」因為成為人母，她開始反思如何真正與長輩和諧相處，也透射到自己未來如何真切與女兒相處。話題聊開了，關穎更大方分享著有時候和家人吵架，很奇怪此時小孩成為雙方之間的潤滑劑。明明家人就在旁邊，還要靠著小孩去傳話，更打趣地分享有時候媽媽還是需要從工作之中找出自我價值與成就感。隨著母親節的到來，談及如何過節，之於她而言能夠「陪伴」就很幸福了，家裡一同聚餐吃飯，2020年新冠疫情讓關穎看開很多東西，「我不是一個節日控。」如今光是打理三位小孩的事務，忙碌的時候完全沒有時間思考，將平凡化為日常對現在的關穎來說很珍貴。

「結婚，它是一場全新的人生體驗，因為未知，所以可能。」

心之所向

當你直抵命運的深度，一切的語言都將向你敞開，在化妝間一邊妝髮，一邊接受訪談的關穎來說，「命」與「運」的組合，讓人生保有信念感，她深信努力依然能夠去改變現有的不滿。去年疫情讓她萌生了開啟拍攝 Tik Tok的想法，透過整理衣櫃，將不適合的衣服淘汰掉，「斷捨離」成為她現階段對生活的關鍵詞。訪談近末，說起如何去定義「美」，關穎認為重塑女性的思考，每一個人生階段的流動出的自信美，女性力量的詮釋，看到自己的感知才是更為重要的事情。拍攝期間，她抱著小孩從容自若的狀態，恰恰是當下她最好的呈現。

如今舞蹈和瑜珈成為一種最為潮流的常態健身模式，關穎說除了保持健美的身材，運動的背後凝聚著壓力的釋放與感悟，正影響著越來越多人。或許人生至今最平靜幸福的狀態：有愛人，有家人，有想做的事，身上流露出的動，其實是一種精神內核、一種內在力量。

「每一個人生階段流動出的自信美，女性力量的詮釋，

看到自己的感知，才是更為重要的事情。」

A Heartfelt Journey 

A lot of people see “age” and “marriage” as a woman’s limitation or even destination. To Terri Kwan, it is more like a brand new life experience. Because it is unknown, it is also full of possibilities. ” I’m actually glad that I was pregnant at what’s considered an advanced maternal age, because I had no regrets in life, I actually quite enjoy it.”  To Terri, the process of becoming a mom is a journey of exploring what it means to exist. She enjoys the versatile nature of life and how nothing is simple or permanent. A first-time mom, Terri believes that when it comes to educating kids, what’s the most important is to become a beacon in life when they are lost and to provide the correct values within a safe zone. As for letting go, it is a lesson she is learning at the moment.A mother of three kids, she understands that every kid is different and needs different modes of companionship. Her son, Phi Phi, is clever, playful, and requires a lot of communication. Sometimes when Terri is trying to get them to do their school work, the relationship between her and her kids is affected. Perhaps after understanding more about this world, she understands why mothers need to be so strict, because there is a fine line between staying on path and going astray. “I don’t want my kids to see me as a perfect mom. I want them to see my strengths and weaknesses and learn how to be strong because even adults feel vulnerable from time to time.”  Between the lines, I see a mother’s hopes and aspirations for her children and a mother who is trustworthy and responsible. 

Tearing off the Labels 

Looking back in life, multiple labels represent Terri’s identity—celebrity, socialite, wife, and mother. If you type in “Terri Kwan” in any search engine, you will find the one result that stands out the most: socialite. And perhaps living a fortunate life had become the most suitable footnote for her. But now, Terri is planning on tearing off all the labels that were associated with her. During our interview, she reiterates how grateful she is towards her parents’ support, both financially and spiritually. ” I’m not deliberately trying to be ordinary. But I also enjoy street food, shop online, take the MRT, wear blue-and-white slippers, and feel the amazing experiences in life.”

Even after becoming a mother, Terri still doesn’t limit herself. She enjoys being busy, but also understands the importance of taking breaks. On her social media, we see her posting her weekly outfits, her hanging out with friends, or her three gorgeous kids. Although some say that a mother’s self will disappear after having a child, Terri still enjoys the happiness brought to her by her family and kids. 

Enjoying Life 

Speaking of the times when she was misrepresented by the media and entertainment industry, Terri admits that her greatest concern is that it will affect her family. She also talks about how her relationship with her mom used to be a little tense. “Our relationship right now is alright, but to eliminate the barriers between generations is still a lesson I’m learning.” Now that she is a mother, she begins to reflect on how to really live in harmony with her elders and projects it onto her relationship with her daughter as well. Opening up with no difficulty, Terri even reveals how sometimes when the adults are fighting, oddly enough, the kids become the mediator. It’s funny how they are sitting right next to each other, but still requires the kids to be their messenger. Moreover, she jokingly shares how sometimes mothers have to find personal value and a sense of accomplishment through work instead. With Mother’s Day right around the corner, Terri simply wishes for the company of her family. In the wake of the pandemic, she realizes a lot of things. ” I’m not a big holiday person.” To have her plate full when taking care of her three kids, she is more than occupied and has no extra time. To Terri, turning the ordinary into her norm is what matters the most. 

Where the Heart Belongs 

Once you’ve reached the depth of life, all languages and expressions open up to you. As she gets her hair and makeup done while doing the interview, Terri mentions how, when “life” meets “destiny,” it creates this sense of faith. She strongly believes that as long as she works hard enough, she can fix any sort of dissatisfaction. Last year, due to the rising pandemic, Terri began filming TikTok videos and tidying her wardrobe, eliminating any unsuitable clothes. “Tidying up” is the motto she lives by at this stage of life. Towards the end of our interview, we begin discussing how exactly does one define beauty? To Terri, the most important thing is to reshape our thinking to bring out our inner confidence and express feminine power in accordance to how we feel and how we perceive ourselves. During the photoshoot, the way she is so comfortable with her kids is perhaps the best representation of her. Nowadays, dance and yoga have become a trendy workout choice. Terri believes that besides staying fit, more and more people see working out as an outlet for de-stressing and expressing how they feel. Perhaps Terri had already found her most peaceful and happy state of life—finding the love of her life, having a lovely family, knowing what she’s truly passionate about—and understands that it is all about the power of spirituality and inner strength.