TRANSLATION | Eugenia Yang
猶記封面拍攝當天，下著霏霏細雨，一雙藍白拖剎地出現在眾人眼前，寬鬆愜意的牛仔褲搭配美式復古帽T，精緻窄小的臉孔，讓人一眼認出是「關穎」。如今的她，多了份為母的沈穩謹慎，訪談過程中，掩蓋不了骨子裡的真性情，歷經韶光洗鍊，依舊是那般坦率動人，毫不假飾地展露「真」我，鏡頭前流轉的自信眼眸，體現了她盡情享受當下的每分每刻，「因為沒有現在，不會有未來。」
On the day of the cover shoot, she was wearing a pair of blue and white slippers, an old school Rainbow Brite hoodie and a pair of loose jeans when she first walked in. Looking at her delicate features, we immediately recognized it was Terri Kwan, with an extra touch of caution and calmness that belonged solely to a mother. Throughout the interview, it wasn’t hard to notice her authenticity and how she wasn’t afraid of showing us her true self. As her eyes beamed with total confidence, she revealed that she was trying her best to enjoy the moment. “Because without the present, there will be no future.”
時髦統一
持續走在時尚尖端的關穎，提起歷久不衰的經典單品，「警察帽」是她腦海中第一個浮現的答案，不論化妝與否，皆能有極高的搭配性，也容易營造時髦感與氣勢，對於色系上的挑選，她則建議包色處理，「基本的黑灰白都不會出差錯。」對於珠寶的偏好，關穎則笑說都喜歡，「彩寶、鑽石、金銀，但不代表一定都要擁有，還是要找出適合自己的。」更舉例平日較喜歡戴大樣的單品，如耳環、手錶，小巧精緻的飾品反而相形遜色，也會依當天場合的主題，選擇喜愛的珠寶首飾，再挑選合宜的服裝，反之亦然，對關穎來說，整體的統一性是一大搭配準則。談起個人品味的養成，她認為品味是種天賦，後天便看自身如何努力，「就像購買藝術品，你要知道它背後的故事，做好功課，才能找出契合自己的衣服。」身為三個兒女的時尚媽咪，關穎經常會以「同中求異」的方式，達到巧妙的視覺平衡，她表示為了講求效率，現今大多都是網購，買的時候便搭配好一套，「像我喜歡運動風、搖滾風、度假風，也真的沒有花很多時間搭配，喜歡一起買，就不會有搭配的問題。」也笑說姊姊最近開始會有一些穿搭上的意見，不太懂得外出與居家的差異，「週末時就讓她自己選，我會給她鼓勵、 再引導她，可能從小耳濡目染，也慢慢讓她嘗試。」對於大小兒子的穿搭樂趣，關穎則透露最喜歡看他們穿一套的運動 Suit，「一套對男生最方便，穿球鞋就很可愛。」止不住興奮的語調，悄然展露了她對小孩的珍愛之情。
張弛有度
溝通，是人與人傳遞觀念、態度或事實的重要環節，也在家庭中扮演著相當關鍵的角色。面臨兒女爭吵時，關穎表示會先觀察事情的嚴重性，再來決定誰扮黑白臉，「要有一致性，小孩才知道不能賴皮。黑白臉的意義在於可以安撫他們，也能告訴他們價值觀的對錯，我們不會偏心，也不會因為男女有所差異。」隨著科技的蓬勃發展，讓她感慨小孩學習新知的速度甚至比大人還要快，也認為父母不必害怕去避諱話題，而是要掌握當下，立即給予正確的價值觀，「不要侷限孩子，反而是要教育他們、告訴他們。」當兒女年歲漸長，每一天對關穎來說，皆會產生不同的驚喜，「比如講出來的話或行為，我就會一直調適心態，不要一直擔心、不要一直以為他們很小，除了放手就是持續給他們正確的價值觀。」以張弛有度的方式，彈性調整教育方針，不讓自己鑽牛角尖，是關穎近幾年習得的為母法則。對於給予新手媽媽的建議，她認為自己並沒有特別的媽媽經，「我女兒要上二年級，我也是新手的二年級媽媽， 每天都有驚喜跟狀況，沒有任何厲害的建議，一切都是要自己面對。」表示很多東西皆是自己摸索，加上詢問身邊朋友與母親的意見，笑答自己沒那麼偉大，「沒有人是最懶惰的媽媽、沒有人是最糟的媽媽，每個人都有自己的優缺點，不用太擔心。」對關穎來說，這便是人性與本能的展現，無需翻山越嶺窮盡探求，當機緣來臨時，方能尋得那最適宜的人生要領。
母愛永恆
從小出生於大家庭的關穎，對於「價值觀」的養成，她認為能去國外就學，融入東西方的教育觀點，讓自己的視野相對寬闊，是一件很幸運的事。「當時的父母親都是比較忙於公司跟生意，較少進出我們學校，也因此讓我們這年代的父母可以有所比較，哪些是以前的年代好、哪些是現在的年代好，可以去相互融合。」提及父母帶來最大的身教，關穎的答案為「中西合璧」，「比如講宗教，你可以有一個信仰，但不用過度迷信。像以前初一十五需要吃齋念佛，但現在會比較彈性，有時候尊重是放在心裡跟行為，不是靠模式。」相對開放的家庭思想，造就了關穎看待世事的豁達大度。當問及自認會是什麼樣的女兒，關穎則笑答比較叛逆，「我現在媽媽還會管我怎麼帶小孩，我只能說媽媽永遠還是媽媽，不要嫌媽媽撈叨。」如今自己成為了一名母親，和女兒相處的日常中，不時會讓關穎憶起昔日與母親頂嘴的過程，也不禁使她感概，「媽媽雖然囉唆，最終還是圍繞著愛與關心，而不是只是甜言蜜語，最終家還是他們的依靠。」真摯話語中，流露關穎對於兒女日後的最大期冀。
承襲父親的助人理念，關穎長年從事慈善公益，而今年深受疫情影響，原先要帶小孩造訪孤兒院的計畫已擱置一年，目前則是以一般捐贈為大宗，如日盛教育基金會給予偏遠鄉區孩童的教育補助；日盛藝術基金會聚焦舞蹈團體與大學生社團；腎臟基金會便是醫療物資、口罩酒精等。憶起過往印象最深刻的公益活動，她說是罕見疾病基金會的那場參訪，「漸凍人他們都是有意識的，不是植物人，我覺得很辛苦，一個人生病，是全家人的事情。」藉由進一步造訪病友的家庭，也讓她親身體會每一個家庭皆有自己的故事，當下撼動無比的思緒，至今仍難以忘懷。
順應人生
作家吉爾家曾分享「成為母親是一段重新認識自己，並與自己和解的旅程。」這番話讓關穎不禁大力點頭。過往擁有「關大膽」的她，不僅作風前衛，什麼都敢嘗試，高空彈跳、雲霄飛車樣樣來，如今成為母親之後，笑說現在則是貪生怕死，「最大的改變就是『三思』，也慢慢年紀大了會更謹慎，必須得考量到家庭，包括每天的行程也是以家庭為重。」遙想年輕歲月，壓根不會檢查冰箱的她，而今起床第一件事則是整理冰箱，那份時刻替孩子擔憂的心便是最佳的母愛證明。當人生排序以小孩為優先、另一半、父母親，最後才是自己的關穎，談起如何在家庭中保留自我的本質，「就像今天出來玩，不要給自己壓力，有一些時尚拍攝或是做公益，讓我覺得又可以不只是母親的角色，可以回饋給社會、可以注重體態，出來放風，也是蠻好的。」身為強迫症的她，總是習慣提前做好所有規劃，比如很多旅行都是去年早已規劃，「先處理好一些事情，才不會手忙腳亂。」當突發狀況來臨，更能從容優雅地面對，但人生在世難免會面臨低潮，選擇一部開心或爆笑的電影，讓自己全然沈浸，是關穎調節心情的一大法門，「看一本好書、睡一個好覺，或者報復性購買也行。」而隨著年紀增長，理性與感性逐漸交融，她表示當前會依人事物來做出相對應的決策，「理性是有了小孩、當了媽媽之後產生；感性是因為我的水象星座，笑點哭點都很低。」
採訪近末，詢問關穎未來是否有哪些新規劃，她隨即回答沒有，「我覺得過一天算一天，現在太多的未知，我一直都是活在當下，我是那種 Work Hard, Play Harder, Laugh Hardest 的人。」 著眼於現下的種種，不過度給予自身太多壓力，更爽朗地說沒有要把自己塑造成這麼偉大的媽媽，「每個人都還是會有脆弱的時候，還是會有缺點，走一步算一步，就是最好的安排。」
Fashionable Unity
As someone who always stays on top of the trend, when asked about her go-to when it comes to accessories, Terri chooses the peaked cap as her number one choice. Whether she is wearing makeup or not, the hat offers great variety and a sense of fashion and momentum. As for the color schemes, she recommends choosing monochrome outfits. “You can never go wrong with black, gray and white.” When asked about her favorite jewelry design, Terri smiles and says she likes them all. “I love the colorful gems, diamonds, gold and silver, everything. But it doesn’t mean you have to have it all, you still have to find the ones that suit you the best.” For example, normally, she chooses accessories with bigger volumes, such as earrings or watches. She also tries to match her jewelry with the theme of the day. All in all, to Terri, it’s about creating an overall unity. When it comes to developing personal style, she believes taste is a natural gift, the rest comes from hard work. “Like purchasing art, you have to know the story behind it. Put in the effort, you will find the right clothes that fit you.” As a fashionable mom of three kids, Terri tries to achieve variety under the same framework in order to create a balanced visual. To stay efficient, she mainly purchases her clothes online. “I usually go for sporty, rock and roll and vacation styles. So I don’t really spend a lot of time creating an outfit because they usually come in sets.” Smiling, she also reveals that her oldest daughter is starting to develop her own opinion when it comes to what she wants to wear. However, the six-year-old can’t seem to tell the difference between outdoor and at-home outfits. “On weekends I tend to let her choose her own outfits. I try to encourage her and give her advice on the side.” As for her sons, Terri says she loves seeing them wear athletic sets. “It’s easier giving them matching tops and bottoms. With a pair of sneakers, they look adorable.” The excited tone quietly showcases her love for her children, a testament of a mother’s biggest joy in life.
With Flexibility and Ease
Communication is the key to connecting with other people. It is also important when it comes to building a healthy familial relationship. Whenever her kids start fighting, Terri assesses the severity of the problem, then decides who is really at fault. “You have to be fair so that they know they can’t cheat their way out of things. Deciding who is at fault so that we can calm them down and let know what is the right set of values. We don’t play favorites. Everything is the same regardless of gender.” With technology advancing every day, Terri also realizes her kids are learning new things at a faster rate than adults are. Instead of being afraid of talking about certain topics, parents should take the opportunity to offer their kids the correct values of life. “Don’t try to limit your kids. Instead we need to educate them and keep them informed.” As her kids are gradually growing up, Terri is encountering all kinds of surprises on a daily basis. “Like the things they say or the way they react, it changes so fast. So I continue to adjust my mindset to stop worrying about them and treating them like little kids. Besides letting go, it’s also important to keep their values in check.” In recent years, she had been executing a more flexible educating style and holding back on being fixated on little details. When it comes to offering new parents advice, Terri admits she doesn’t really have any. “My daughter is about to enter second grade. And for that, I am also a new parent. Each day comes with its surprises and challenges. I don’t really have any impressive advice. It’s something we, as parents, have to learn on our own.” Smiling with humility, Terri says she is really not that noble. She further explains besides self-exploration, she also looks to her friends and her mother for their opinion. “There are no lazy or bad moms because everyone has their upsides and downsides, so don’t worry too much.” For Terri, it’s human nature, so there is no need to go out of your way to find your answers. When the opportunity presents itself, the best way of life will be yours to have.
Eternal Love of a Mother
Born and raised in a big family, Terri finds herself lucky to have the chance to study abroad and expand her horizon, which led to the development of a set of openminded personal values. “Back then, my parents were always busy with work and rarely got involved with my academics, which is very different from parents nowadays. We get to compare what’s suitable and what’s not, and find a balance in between the two.” Speaking of her parents’ education style, Terri says it’s a combination of the East and West. “For example, religion, you can have a belief system but don’t get too superstitious. We used to fast and recite scriptures on the fifteenth day of each month but now it’s more flexible. I think true respect comes from the heart and not from rituals.” Such an open-minded upbringing allowed Terri to look at this world with openness and generosity. When asked about what kind of daughter she is, Terri smiles rebelliously and replies, “Honestly, even till now my mom still tells me how I should teach my kids. I think moms will always be moms, so never complain about your mom’s nagging.” Now that she has her own kids, she is always reminded of her days of arguing with her own mother. “Even though sometimes we find our moms annoying, never forget everything comes from their love and care for us. Family is the one safe harbor that never fails us.”
Inheriting her father’s philosophy of helping people, Terri has been devoted to philanthropy for many years. Due to the pandemic, her plan to bring her children to orphanage visits have been on hold for over a year. However, that does not mean her support has been on pause. All of her foundations have been offering their help nonstop—the Jih Sun Education Foundation is helping out the underprivileged kids with educational grants, the Jih Sun Art Foundation is reaching out to dance groups and college clubs, while the National Kidney Foundation is offering medical supplies such as face masks and sanitizers. Speaking of the most memorable charity event, Terri says it’s the one where she visited the Foundation for Rare Disorders. “People suffering from Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) are still conscious, they are not in a vegetative state. It’s heartbreaking to see how it affects the entire family.” Through visiting each patient’s family, she gets to hear their stories one by one. The genuine emotions that she felt during each session are something that she will never forget.
Live in the Moment
Taiwanese Australian writer Lisa Gears once said, “Becoming a mother is a journey that allows us to reacquaint and reconcile with ourselves.” And Terri could not agree more. Known for her courage, she used to be someone who was willing to try everything and anything. From bungee jumping to riding roller coasters, there was nothing she was afraid of. However, after becoming a mother, Terri jokingly says she has become a weakling now. “The biggest change is I now think before I act. I am more cautious and take my family into account. My daily schedule is pretty much family-oriented.” Thinking back to when she was younger, she never checked the refrigerator often. But now, the first thing she does when she gets out of bed is to make sure the fridge is well-stocked. Placing her kids as her priority, followed by her husband and parents, Terri places herself at the bottom of the list. “Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, sometimes it’s okay to attend charity events or do photoshoots like today. I get to give back to our society and stay fit and pretty. It feels nice to be able to play roles other than a mother every once in a while.” As someone with OCD, Terri likes to plan everything ahead of time. “By staying prepared, it saves you from being caught off guard.” With a proper plan established, it also makes it easier to deal with any last minute problems. However, it’s normal to encounter times when you find it hard to pick yourself up. By choosing a comedy or upbeat film to watch, Terri tries to fully immerse herself in positive emotions to help adjust her mindset. “Read a nice book, take a good nap, or even do some impulsive shopping, whatever works for you.” As time goes on, her rational side and her emotional side are slowly merging into one entity. Now, she has learned how to come up with solutions according to the different people and problems she’s dealing with. “My rational side really took the wheel after my kids were born. My emotional side came from being a water sign, making me prone to laughing and tearing up.”
As we arrive at the end of our interview, when asked about new plans for the future, she immediately responds she doesn’t have any. “I think we should take it day by day because there are too many uncertainties at the moment. I’m trying to live in the present. Work hard, play harder and laugh hardest.” With everything that is going on in the world, Terri believes it’s important not to put too much pressure on ourselves. She even admits that she’s not trying to be the best mom in the world. “Because everyone has their vulnerability and faults. So take one step at a time, that is the best planning you can do.”