半熟，剛剛好｜關穎 Terri Kwan

EDITOR Annie Chien｜TRANSLATOR Aurora Lin｜ART DESIGN Kaz Chang｜PHOTOGRAPHER Sanko Chen｜MAKE UP MIKA TSAI｜HAIR PAULINE

在七月迎來五十歲生日，面對 50 這個數字，關穎的語氣裡盡是真實的滿足——今年去了Coachella、跟著 Louis Vuitton 飛摩洛哥、有 Girls Trip，細數有工作有旅遊的生活模式，她說：「我覺得夠幸福了！」身為巨蟹座，天生敏感也習慣照計畫走，更容易把自己排得很滿、壓抑很多。但這幾年，她慢慢學會一件事：有些事情，計畫趕不上變化，且走且看才是真本事。疫情來了，就面對；更年期來了，就承認；孩子長大開始翻白眼，就深呼吸，告訴自己這只是一個階段。

從名媛、演員、母親，到社群上那個讓人看見反差感的「大小姐」，外界對關穎的印象，不再停於光鮮那一面。近幾年她也悄悄做了一件事：開始減法生活，飯局能少就少、交朋友寧可少而精，把更多時間留給家人和自我，連社群都開始露出搞笑的那一面。與理科太太共同主持的Podcast《人生5分熟》，談五分熟，不全生、不全熟，剛好還有空間繼續長。她說剛開始很怕自己不勝任，臉皮薄、從沒做過主持；但被一句「不走出來做做看，怎麼會知道不好？」說服。開播後，她在線上聊老化、聊更年期、聊家庭，底下有25歲以上的年輕人在聽，也有跟她同齡的女人在聽。每次錄完都像做完一次諮詢，回到家身心舒爽。五十歲的關穎，不是頓悟了什麼，是慢慢學會既來之，則安之。

As she prepares to celebrate her fiftieth birthday this July, Terri Kwan speaks about turning 50 with a genuine sense of contentment. This year alone, she has been to Coachella, travelled to Morocco with Louis Vuitton, and enjoyed a girls’ getaway with friends. Looking back on a year filled with both work and travel, she smiles and says, “Honestly, I feel pretty fortunate already.”A Cancer through and through, Kwan admits she has always been sensitive by nature and comforted by having a plan. It also means she tends to fill her schedule to the brim and keep a lot to herself. Yet over the past few years, she has gradually learned an important lesson: some things simply cannot be planned. More often than not, the real skill lies in taking things as they come.When the pandemic arrived, she faced it. When menopause came, she acknowledged it. When her children reached the age of eye-rolls and attitude, she took a deep breath and reminded herself that it was simply a phase.

From socialite and actress to mother—and now the playful side of herself that often surprises people on social media—public perceptions of Kwan have evolved beyond the polished image that once defined her. In recent years, she has also quietly begun simplifying her life: fewer social engagements, a smaller but closer circle of friends, and more time reserved for family and herself. Even her social media presence has begun to reveal a more humorous side.Together with Li Ke Tai Tai, she co-hosts a podcast that explores what she describes as being “perfectly half-done” in life—a stage where one is neither completely raw nor fully formed, yet still has room to grow.When the opportunity first came along, she hesitated. She had never hosted anything before and worried she might not be suited to it. What eventually changed her mind was a simple question: “If you don’t step out and give it a try, how will you know whether it might work?” Since the podcast launched, she has spoken openly about ageing, menopause and family life. Some listeners are in their twenties, while others are women navigating the same stage of life as she is. Every recording feels a little like therapy; by the time it ends, she always goes home feeling refreshed.Turning fifty has not brought her some grand revelation. Instead, she has gradually learned to accept life as it comes.

五十這道門，關穎是帶著身體的反應走進來的。更年期帶來的賀爾蒙起伏、說不上哪裡不對勁的疲憊感，她沒有迴避，也沒有裝作沒事。「身體和心理是環環相扣，」她說，「心理上的起伏，其實有一部分就是賀爾蒙在作怪。」她從來不太避諱老化這件事，這也是理科太太最初注意到她的原因之一：跟很多女星不一樣，面對更年期，她侃侃而談。

在更年期的這個階段，她面對女兒進入 Pre-Teen，開始翻白眼、有同儕意識；兩個兒子則是「越知道媽媽底線在哪，就越要踩」，分開帶還好，兩個一起就是雙倍頑皮。她說，身心靈的疲憊感是真實的，但孩子比較乖的那幾天、或者出去旅行的時候，又會覺得「人生還滿完整的」。她現在更清楚，面對身體的訊號不能硬撐，吃對的東西、在對的時間，每個人體質不同，找到適合自己的方式才是正解。而最基本的，足夠的水和睡眠，她說那才是 EVERYTHING。身體先誠實了，心才有辦法跟上來，這是五十歲教她的第一件事。

Kwan stepped into her fifties accompanied by the realities of a changing body.The hormonal fluctuations of menopause brought periods of fatigue and an underlying sense that something felt different, even if she could not always explain exactly what it was. Yet she neither avoided the subject nor pretended everything was fine.“The body and the mind are closely connected,” she says. “A lot of our emotional ups and downs are actually influenced by hormones.”She has never been particularly hesitant about discussing ageing. In fact, that openness was one of the reasons Li Ke Tai Tai first took notice of her. Unlike many actresses who prefer to avoid the topic, Kwan speaks candidly about menopause.

At the same time, her daughter has entered her pre-teen years, complete with eye-rolls and a growing awareness of peer dynamics. Her two sons, meanwhile, seem increasingly determined to test boundaries.“The more they know where Mum’s limits are, the more they want to push them,” she says with a laugh.When they are apart, things are manageable. Together, they become twice as mischievous.The physical and emotional exhaustion she experiences is real. Yet there are also days when the children are especially well-behaved, or moments when she is travelling, and life suddenly feels complete again.Today, she understands that responding to her body’s signals is no longer optional. There is no universal formula; every body is different. Finding what works for you—eating the right foods, at the right time, in a way that suits your own needs—is what matters most.At the foundation of it all are two essentials.“Water and sleep,” she says. “That’s everything.”When the body speaks honestly, the mind is finally able to follow. It is perhaps the first lesson her fifties have taught her.

《人生5分熟》這個名字，藏著一種剛好的哲學。不過熟、不假裝什麼都懂，還留著繼續長的空間。當初，和理科太太因為孩子在同一個足球隊而認識，幾次閒聊之後，對方邀她一起做Podcast，聊四十、五十、甚至六十歲的成熟話題。關穎猶豫過，也深怕不勝任，但被「與其一直想，不如就做」這句話推了一把。踏入《人生5分熟》，也讓她發現意外的收穫。

當一邊是嚴肅分析，一邊是感性娛樂，反而把年齡話題撐開了空間。最讓她意外的是聽眾組成：從25歲到她的年紀，甚至更年長的都有。「我一開始沒想到有這麼多年輕人在聽，」她說。這讓她意識到，分享本身就有力量，不一定需要宏大的目的。她說，每次錄完都覺得像去做了一次諮詢，回家身心舒爽，像又上了一課。這種感覺，對習慣把自己排得很滿的她來說，難得。巨蟹座的她喜歡有計畫、有安全感，但這個 Podcast 教會她另一件事：合約不用簽，且走且看，不好就收，好就繼續：人生很多事，大方向抓穩就好，細節順其自然。

The idea of being “perfectly half-done” carries a philosophy that feels just right. Not fully done. Not pretending to have all the answers. Still leaving room to grow.Kwan first met Li Ke Tai Tai because their children played on the same football team. After a few casual conversations, Li invited her to co-host a podcast exploring life in one’s forties, fifties and even sixties.Kwan hesitated. She worried she might not be the right person for the role and questioned whether she had what it took. But one simple piece of advice gave her the push she needed:“Instead of thinking about it forever, why not just do it?” Embracing this stage of life also brought unexpected rewards.

With one host approaching topics from an analytical perspective and the other from a more emotional and lifestyle-driven angle, conversations about age, family and personal growth found room to breathe.What surprised her most, however, was the audience. “I never expected so many young people to be listening,” she says. Listeners range from people in their mid-twenties to women her own age and beyond. The experience reminded her that sharing itself can be meaningful. It does not always need a grand purpose behind it.Every recording feels a little like therapy.Every conversation offers a new perspective.And each time it ends, she returns home feeling refreshed, as though she has learned something new about herself.For someone who has always preferred plans and certainty, the experience has taught her another valuable lesson: not everything needs to be decided in advance.“You don’t always need a contract,” she says with a laugh. “You can see how things go. If it doesn’t work, you stop. If it does, you keep going.”In life, as long as you know where you’re headed, the rest can unfold naturally.

錄音室外，她的生活也在做同一件事：減法。關穎的手機裡，LINE 是最近才裝的，以前習慣用 WhatsApp 和家人聯絡，後來發現台灣的媽媽群組、孩子的排課家教全都在 LINE 上，才意識到自己脫節了。她說起來像是一件小事，但聽的人都笑了，因為那種「原來跟世界有點距離」的感覺，太真實。她說，她沒有真正意義上的「媽媽群組」，很多媽媽她根本不認識。有些媽媽非常盡心、照顧到每個細節，她則是比較大而化之的那種。

她說自己出身大家庭，親朋好友本來就多，人際關係上，近期也做了很清醒的取捨。下半年的心願很簡單：更多時間在家，陪小孩、陪自己，老公那邊，「互相尊重、不踩彼此地雷」，說完自己也笑了，「可能我是巨蟹座，比較敏感一點。」這種對關係的整理，是她走過人生歷練後，才懂的溫柔自保。從以前很在意同儕、很容易拿自己跟別人比，到現在看著女兒走進那個她熟悉的青春期焦慮，她站在旁邊，很平靜地告訴自己：每個人就是不一樣，順其自然，才能走得比較遠。

Outside the recording studio, Kwan’s life has been moving in the same direction: simplifying. LINE only appeared on her phone recently. For years, she relied on WhatsApp to communicate with family and friends. It was only when she realised that school groups, tutoring arrangements and parenting communications in Taiwan all happened on LINE that she discovered how out of touch she had become.She laughs as she tells the story.It sounds like a small thing, but everyone listening immediately understands the feeling—suddenly realising you’ve drifted a little further from the world than you thought.She also admits she has never really belonged to the typical mothers’ chat groups. In fact, many of the mothers involved are complete strangers to her.Some parents pay attention to every detail.Kwan describes herself as much more easy-going.

Having grown up in a large family, she has always been surrounded by relatives and friends. Yet when it comes to relationships, she has become increasingly selective.Her wish for the second half of the year is simple: more time at home, more time with her children, and more time with herself.As for her husband?“Mutual respect,” she says, laughing. “And not stepping on each other’s landmines.”Then she adds:“Maybe it’s because I’m a Cancer. I’m a little more sensitive.”It is a kind of gentle self-preservation that only comes with experience.There was a time when she cared deeply about fitting in and often compared herself to others. Now, as she watches her daughter navigate the insecurities and anxieties that often accompany adolescence, she quietly reminds herself that everyone is different.Sometimes, accepting that everyone moves at their own pace is what allows us to go further.

關穎有基金會，但她談公益的方式，不像在做宣言。她說，做善事不只是捐錢、成立基金會、露臉擔任慈善大使。對她來說，影響力的起點更小、也更日常，對自己的工作夥伴好一點，從公司管理就開始，從身邊的人開始做起。《人生5分熟》向社會、各年齡層分享有意義的內容，對她來說，本身也是一種公益。

踏入人生下半場，最期待什麼？她想了一下：「更從容。」不是什麼宏大的計畫，就是多一點隨心的留白。對一個習慣把自己排滿的巨蟹座來說，這或許是長智慧最幸福的事。

Although Kwan runs a charitable foundation, she speaks about philanthropy without grand declarations.For her, doing good is not limited to making donations, founding charities or serving as a public ambassador.Real influence often begins much closer to home.It starts with treating colleagues better.It starts with the way you run a company.It starts with the people around us.In her eyes, sharing meaningful conversations and experiences with people of different generations is, in itself, a form of giving back.

As she steps into the second half of life, what does she look forward to most?She pauses for a moment before answering. “Being more at ease.”Not a dramatic reinvention.Not an ambitious new plan.Just a little more space to follow her instincts.For someone who once tried to plan everything, that may well be one of the most rewarding things about growing older.